Dear Ladies Man,

With homecoming approaching, I’m interested in a Rose alumna, but I’m not sure how to approach the differences in our position…

—Outclassed

Dear Outclassed,

Many classic cats feared fire: Scar from Lion King, Shere Khan from Jungle Book…

While cougar season isn’t open quite yet (I hear May is a good month), homecoming is a good time to spend time with your (feline) friend. A good place to start is remembering what homecoming is about: Fire! No really, I mean football, but nothing is more iconic than the Rose-Hulman Homecoming Bonfire. While this may be a slight problem (many classic cats feared fire: Scar from Lion King, Shere Khan from Jungle Book…), I’m certain that any Rose graduate will remember the fun times she had roasting marshmallows 20 feet from the flames. So to begin, invite her to the bonfire. Make sure to include who you are (no, your student ID card doesn’t count), and when the bonfire is (about 10 P.M. Friday night). At that point, it’s up to your own respective style, whether that’s playing the ukulele while singing Beatles songs, offering a fresh-lit rose with your confession of interest or using the Rose-Hulman e-mail server to generate a massive amount of spam (“It’s 1:30 A.M. and I still love you!” Every half-hour). The main key here is to be original and endearing and to make sure your message isn’t somehow lost in the frivolity of delivery. While proposing at the foot of the bonfire may sound romantic, 1st degree burns and a visit to the emergency room isn’t any girl’s dream (unless you’ve been stalking them, so please don’t). For many, I realize this advice is pointless (the only C.S. from last year is already taken, sorry guys!), but I wish you all the best of luck. Happy hunting! Just don’t turn your back on Dick Cheney; the man is dangerous with a shotgun.