“Shut up or I’ll shoot you.”

— Dr. Casey, who don’t take no crap from no one.

“This sentence is missing its period. Uh-Oh, must be pregnant.”

— Dr. Stienstra, who will no longer be teaching sex ed...

“So you have two metals and one of them is wood and one of them is metal...”

— Dr. Moorehead, master teacher of materials.

“Hot laser death!”

— Dr. Bryan, you ask him.

“I didn’t finish your assignment for tomorrow I was laughing so hard, you know, evil laughter.”

— Dr. Morris, who at least has the deceny to tell us he’s evil well in advance.

“We were extremely generous with the partial credit. 50 points just for writing your name.”

— Dr. Serbezov. Please tell me he teaches ME441...

“Why are we twisting this tank? To get the anhydrous out to make meth!”

— Dr. Stienstra, attempting to explain his earlier quote.

“Math needs lasers.”

— Dr. Holder, who should really meet Dr. Bryan...

“You sniff enough of these (holds up dry erase marker) and you feel like trying anything.”

— Dr. Bryan, beginning his adventures in mathematics.

“It will take the path of least resistance. It’s the law of students.”

— Dr. Houghtalen. Few words could describe how accurate that quote is...