Intracranial Violence

Frontal Lobe, Cerebrum — Internal strife rocks this troubled region once again as the war between Logoi forces and X$X$X forces have approached a new conceptual tier. Although the Frontal Lobe region has been plagued with strife since the region’s conception, where neurons have firing at each other every few microseconds since Cerebrum was separated from the rest of the geographic mass by the great barrier of Astrocyte, this recent onslaught of violence is unprecedented.

These two groups have attempted to peacefully share the governance of the region, the recent disagreements over issues of intellectual property profit sharing, talking to girls, and participation in intrabody functions. After losing a series of votes between watching television and studying, going to a party and studying, and hooking up and studying, X$X$X revolted and captured the right hemisphere, where they promise freedom from the tyranny of Logoi rule and the ability for X$X$X’s to do whatever felt good at the time. However, their governing body’s inability to concentrate on tasks has caused the widespread economic collapse of the once prosperous region, and their production of ideas, the main export of the Frontal Lobe, has trickled to a standstill.

On the other side of the Corpus Callosum Gorge, Logoi had attempted to survive without X$X$X, but after many of its members committed suicide due to being overworked and the lack of fun that X$X$X usually provided to their joint society, Logoi has decided to reclaim the right hemisphere and reunify the Frontal Lobe. Although Logoi soldiers are well trained and armed with the latest chemical weapons, their lack of creativity has prevented them from defeating the X$X$X.

The conflict took an especially ferocious turn yesterday, when X$X$X covert operations agents smuggled a weapon of mass drunkenness from the intestines and detonated it in the left hemisphere, temporarily mutating some Logoi populations into X$X$X. In retaliation, Logoi have detained vitally needed shipments of endorphins into X$X$X controlled territories. Current death counts on either side are unknown, but assumed to be in the thousands.