Top Ten things to pull off before I graduate

10. Convince Erik Hayes to let his son Ryland be my roommate (the kid is a foosball prodigy).

9. Build a bridge across Speed Lake to shorten the walk to Subway.

8. Fully test the powers of my position as Flipside Editor. (Ultimate Frisbee game, this Saturday, 4 p.m., Speed lawn. Be there.)

7. Have a pizza delivered to me in the ARA.

6. Sleep on every floor on campus. This one should help me achieve another goal: Getting kicked off of every floor on campus.

5. Lake Dr. J. (Seriously, how awesome would that be? Maybe if we ask reallllly nicely…)

4. Pass all my classes so I do graduate…bonus points if on time…(or filicide may occur…)

3. Do a prank that makes MIT and Cal Tech pranks look like they’re from Purdue. (Hmm…all we need is someone’s car, a couple of barrels, and 41 hours worth of Fluids calculations…)

2. A hostile takeover of the academic buildings using only assigned lab equipment resulting in the Treaty of Moenchlinapo, giving an automatic “A” for any lab that contains materials not found at your local hardware store.

1. Study freshmen and seniors to analyze the existence and functionality of the mysterious “Rose Goggles” and their effect on the dating scene in the greater Terre Haute area.