Dealing with grief

This week the Rose-Hulman family suffered the tragic loss of two of its members. In light of these losses it seems that it would be an important time to talk about loss and grief. Although we all experience grief, it is important to note that not everyone experiences grief in the same way. Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of someone we care about. I wanted to discuss some of the common emotions and behavioral reactions that you may experience when grieving.

Often people experience a sense of shock or denial. When this happens, a person may feel numb or not know how to react. This may feel disconcerting, but keep in mind that it is common and will pass with time. You may also feel anger. You may be angry at the situation or that no one prevented it from happening. It is OK to feel angry, and you should keep in mind that your anger will dissipate in time. When grieving, it is common that people experience a sense of guilt. You may feel guilty about things you wish you would have said or done, or things you feel that you failed to do. This is a natural part of the grieving process as well, and forgiving yourself is part of the process. Lastly, you may experience depression as part of the grieving process. You may lose interest in daily activities and find that you are struggling to complete simple tasks. Remember, each of these emotions is a common reaction to loss.

As you grieve, the entire Rose family grieves with you. As you experience these emotional and physical reactions, remember to express what you are feeling.

Physical reactions tend to be our way of expressing our inner thoughts and this is no different when confronted with emotions. In addition to the emotional reactions to loss, many people experience behavioral or physical reactions. It is not uncommon to experience bouts of crying, having trouble sleeping, or changes in eating habits. You may feel like you want to pull away from social interactions or you may experience restlessness. These are common reactions and you may experience one or more of them.

The last thing that I would like to discuss is how to take care of yourself and your friends during the grieving process. I cannot stress enough that these reactions are common and you are not alone in your experience of them. As you grieve, the entire Rose family grieves with you. As you experience these emotional and physical reactions, remember to express what you are feeling. By allowing these feelings to come out, you will be able to better address them and keep them from becoming overwhelming. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and ask for their help; don't be afraid to accept support when it is offered. Leaning on one another can help you and your friends as you move through the grieving process. If you feel that you are having trouble, seek out help through friends, campus staff, counseling, or support groups. Each of these can be a valuable resource as you move through the grieving process.

If you have a friend who is grieving, there are ways to help them as they move through the process. One of the most important things you can do for a friend is to simply be there for them. Often the simple act of calling, writing, or being near them can remind friends that they are not alone and can offer support. Another way to help is to sit with your friend and listen. Allowing them to share their feelings about the loss can help them release some of their emotions. Lastly, if you see that your friend is having trouble, be willing to help them reach out to others who are trained to help individuals who are grieving.

This information is not intended to diagnose, treat, or prevent any disease or disorder. Nor is it intended to replace a consultation with a mental health provider.