Wacky Student quotes

“How exactly do you do cybersex?”

— a student in Prof. Sexton’s class, looking for a hands-on learning experience.

“In the novel Huckleberry Finn, the main character is Huckleberry Finn.”

— a student in Prof. Taylor’s class, who really did the reading. Really.

“We hate you less than we did at midterm.”

— a student in Prof. Bowman’s class, desperately working to turn that D into a D+.

“Yeah, it’s best to keep the woman drivers off the road...”

— the same student in Prof. Bowman’s class, pushing the same D in a different direction.

“That would be like Sam kissing Gollum!”

— a student in Prof. House’s class who may or may not write LotR slash fiction.

“Will there be any problems on the final exam that require thinking?”

— a student in Prof. Anklam’s class, fearing a fate worse than death.

“You must have been confused when you were grading this problem…”

— a student in Prof. Chambers’ class, helpfully clearing things up.

“To be honest, laziness and a lack of work has got me where I am.”

— a student in Prof. Massman’s class, on the secrets of his success.

“Hamlet?... I didn’t like it; it’s full of clichés.”

— a student in Prof. Carvill’s class, longing for the subversive originality of Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter.

“I don’t even want to think about taking the derivative of 2k, with respect to k. I was in Fast Track, I didn’t learn Calculus!”

— A student in Dr. Boutell’s CSSE/MA325 class, showing the true value of thirty weeks of Calculus over the summer in only five weeks.