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Top Ten former jobs of Hose professors

“Slosh” Holden

Former Writer of Top Tens as of Today

10. Prof. of Fertilizer Studies, Sam Houston Institute of Technology

9. Professional Skateboarder

8. Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality (Universal Life Church, $10, http://www.ulc.net/index.php?page=shop&cat=18#item22, Sainthood extra)

7. Quantum Mechanic

6. Fifth Beatle

5. Senior Electron Wrangler, Subatomic Particle Zoo

4. Editor, The Concrete Abstract

3. Post-Doctoral Fellow, Laboratory of Herr Doktor-Professor Frankenstein (it’s pronounced “Fronkensteen”)

2. Barista

1. Fact Checker, CRC Handbook of Medieval Torture