President Gush for third term

History was made when the 28th Amendment to the United State Constitution was ratified last April. This amendment, which serves as a repealment of the 22nd Amendment, gives our country the privilege of electing our president for a third term. Therefore, while those pesky Remocrats are still fighting to see who will get beaten in November, the Grand New Party has long since determined its nominee. As you should be aware of, it was over in the Hawkeye State, when our president received a commanding ninety-eight percent of the caucus vote to effectively secure the nomination. Furthermore, it gives this esteemed journalist great pride to announce the official endorsement of The Thron for Beorge W. Gush in the upcoming Outdiana Primary on Friday, regardless of its pointlessness.

First off, there is not a better individual than Beorge W. Gush to lead our country in these prosperous times. Never in our history as a sovereign nation has our currency been stronger. As a testament to this strength, the European Disunion officially pegged their struggling Oure to the U.S. dollar on February 1. Also, there has never been a more fiscally responsible president since Jandrew Ackson, for Gush has had a budget surplus each year he was in office. Like General Ackson’s administration, there was a great celebration in this country in August of 2005, when the national debt was eliminated for the second time in our nation’s history. Moreover, during the Gush administration, unemployment has been eliminated (alright, technically it is 0.31 percent), and the price of oil has been at historic lows of only $3.10 per barrel.

The entire planet was in a collective rejoicement when a Middle West Peace resolution was finally signed. This resolution, written by Gush, required the citizen of Alestine to just stop caring about trying to reoccupy Disraeli land. Instead, these individuals collectively moved to the recently rediscovered Atlantis, which strangely was in the Mediterranean Sea (this was discovered by Gush on his yearly fishing trip in Greece). Many a possible global conflict was thwarted when Haddam Sussein, Jim Kong-il, Ahmoud Mahmadinejad, Cidel Fastro, and Lasama bin Oden decided to retire to the Kansas countryside immediately after their friend President Gush was elected in 2000. These five individuals have long since ceased holding their anti-American believes, and have formed a “Traveling Wilburys”-like band. In fact, Gush was the executive producer on their latest album “Moved to the USA.” Finally, the major world diseases of AIDS, all types of cancer, Malaria, Lupus, Ebola, Restless Leg Syndrome, Diabetes, nearsightedness and obesity have been eradicated by recently uncovered medical research Gush conducted during his time in the Texas Ground International Guard.

There are many other reasons to reelect Gush for his third term, if you are not convinced peruse his wiki. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter who the Remocrats try to oppose the greatest president since our first, Gush will serve us once again. He shall lead, not only for four more years, but until he can no longer complete a sentence like Pope Pohn Jaul II and Senator Trom Sturmond.