Top Ten signs you should send all student e-mails

10. Your name does include Dr. J, Hayes, Miller, Gustafson, or Huber. Ergo, I may be forced to transfer or live in a box next to Olin if I don’t read them.

9. You’re informing me of whether I can walk across Speed Lake or not. That’s good information. I have never enjoyed learning that first hand.

8. Your e-mail is about a brand-new class that involves food, traveling to an exotic location, or something that screams “won’t require five hours of homework a night.”

7. The e-mail involves something for a few guys and then girls. Lots of girls.

6. Your event gives me a guilt-free reason to get out of class or turn in my homework late.

5. You work for SGA, SAB, or RHA, and you’re advertising an event I paid tuition for. I like enjoying my already-spent money.

4. The advertisement is for a once-in-a-lifetime event like Diavolo that is ridiculously awesome and something I should really have to pay for, but am happy I didn’t have to.

3. Your fundraiser supports a really good cause, such as Riley’s Children Hospital, The Red Cross, or getting more girls to attend Rose.

2. Your e-mail involves free food or drink, specifically pizza. Not too many though!

1. You’ve done the awesomely intelligent act of compiling your information for lots of important things like internships and rush events into one large e-mail that I only have to delete once if I already have a job or fraternity.