Top Ten Rules for Facial Hair February

To be eligible, you must shave with a straight razor on or after midnight on February 1st. Those with intact jugulars may continue to number nine.

No hair growth products such as Rogaine are allowed, but vigorous rubbing of the face and neck in public places is encouraged.

Men and women with testosterone levels in the 95th percentile are not eligible for Facial Hair February.

While shaving of the neck for comfort reasons is allowed, you will not be eligible to win the “Chauncey Rose Memorial Trophy of Neck Beard Excellence” at the conclusion of the month