The naked roommate

Of all the varied facets of college life, the most unpredictable aspect is the one that you live with. Whether it’s a late-night rock session on “Rock Band“ (drums and vocals included) the night before the big test or an admiration of alternative forms of art, the challenges of living with and discovering the various quirks, habits and practices of someone you thought you knew last year when you signed on are diverse.

To start, consider that idea, the “perfect room.” Disillusion yourself. Your “rad” hangings, your throw pillows, your posters idolizing long-dead performers, all of which are very chic for sure, can all be easily nullified by whomever shares the same space. Those sand and ocean sheets, coupled with the bed skirt and color-matched throw pillows look great now, but wait until you see the black and grey abomination that was just dragged through the door. Enjoying some soft jazz to calm a bad case of nerves for that big project due next week? Just wait until you hear the heavy thump of Eurobeat and watch the performance of your roommate on air drums.

While this is all just a matter of personal preference, there are some other preferences that should be given heed before blindly grabbing the nearest living body for a roommate. Indeed, each individual’s stance on the following matters will be personal, however take note. Your roommate comes back to your room after showering. Or stays in your room rather than showering. Pick your poison, the room that no one enters for fear of mass desertion of their olfactory senses, or the poor soul who forgot to grab a towel before jumping in the shower.

On the same note, beverage preference has a significant impact on rooming conditions. Indeed, your finely chilled beverages are a sure way to a fun time. Just bear in mind, garbage in, garbage out. Include in that the general effect of chilled beverages on the mental faculties of said roommate, and the fact that, while it may be cool when you don’t have to deal with it, it’s your floor, and when you wake up the next morning and get out of bed, you would much rather feel the soft, warm carpet under your feet.

Finally, art choices and extracurricular activities. While you may enjoy a nice Monet and discussing relativity with the Physics Department head over a nice cool glass of lemonade, your roommate may be interested in other pursuits, such as ones that move and talk and have nudity. By far the best time to learn to think on your feet is when you return early from that late-night study session and find a darkened room and more than one pair of feet from under the covers on the opposite side of the room.

Bearing all this in mind, your roommate is the best friend you will have all year. Nothing says “bonding experience” like a 3 A.M. Taco Bell run. In the search for the perfect roommate, take an abundance of patience, a couple chilled beverages and a good pair of earplugs (and possibly a sleep mask, depending on your schedule).