A truly fabulous award

OMG, Engineering is, like, so, in!

I’m sure many have seen the Rose-Hulman’s newest award from CosmoGirl, what I assumed was a distinguished astronomy journal detailing the research advances of female cosmologists. So, imagine my surprise when I asked a few avid readers of that publication to explain how dimensional refraction due to unobservable gravitation wells was unexplained by superstring theory and was met with blank stares and giggles. Unfortunately, I know too well that secondary resources are unhelpful, so I immediately set out to acquire the primary documents. When my visit to the library failed to find the sources, I turned to every student’s last resort: The Internet. When my homepage (www.rose-hulman.edu) loaded up, I found what I was looking for on the lower left corner. I must admit, I was a little surprised at the cover of the magazine. I had not known that astronomy has turned to the dark side and started marketing their research with attractive women and promises of sexy hair. More disconcerting was how well the intelligent content was hidden amidst the marketing dribble. About the only things of interest I found were that “You’re flirting well if he tells you that your eyes are like two twinkling stars in the deep night sky!” which I deciphered to mean “Prof. Yuri Flerting of the Wellington Institute in Florence has discovered a pair of simultaneous supernovae with in the deep space Ur-3Y3z quadrant,” and that crazy ex-boyfriends are best dealt with by crazier current boyfriends.