Holiday help wanted!

Position: Reverse Engineering Elf



Required Qualifications:

BSc in Software, Computer, or Electrical Engineering

Less than four feet tall

Very high-pitched voice

Works well with reindeer

Willing to re-locate to North Pole

Strong swimmer

Must enjoy wearing loopy shoes



Job Description:

The reverse engineering elf will help Santa meet the explosive demand for Wii’s, Xbox’s, and other electronic gizmos by developing means for their counterfeit and mass-reproduction. Products will be engineered with emphasis on cost, weight, and DfEM (Design for Elf Manufacturing).



Salary and Benefits:

40,000 candy canes per year

Free food, housing, and dental care

No Christmas break, but summer holiday is January 1 - November 30



Position: Sleigh Engineer



Required Qualifications:

BSc in Mechanical Engineering, specialization in jet propulsion and sleigh aerodynamics.



Job Description:

The sleigh engineer must design a new sleigh for Santa; an innovative design is required that can accelerate to near light speed in miliseconds, decelerate just as quickly, and execute billions of vertical landings in the same night (all while carrying several thousand tons of presents and half a ton of Santa).



Salary and Benefits:

60,000 candy canes per year

Free food, housing, and all the tools you will ever need

Get to drive the sleigh from January to November