Wacky Prof Quotes

“I’d really hate to have to beat somebody to death with my tablet pen.”

-- Prof. House, expressing regret



“Everybody feels dumber after the course is over.”

-- Prof. Fisher, doing his job



“Well, you didn’t fall asleep this time, but your feet smell.”

-- Prof. Brophy, berating a student



“This diagram is retarded. I’m sorry; bad choice of words. It is inefficient.”

-- Prof. Doering, berating a student’s diagram



“Child abuse is gone. We’ve accomplished a lot this quarter.”

-- Prof. House, saving the world from itself



“I don’t remember any of that grade school stuff. I was wasted at the time.”

-- Prof. Bryan, elementary school stoner



“You can consult an oracle. Whatever works.”

-- Prof. Galinaitis, on solving differential equations



“That’s just like me. Tearing down a swing-set so I can build a stoplight.”

-- Prof. Clifton, ruining children’s playgrounds



“The spectrum police will show up at your house and do bad things to you.”

-- Prof. Throne, special agent for the Spectrum Bureau