Top ten worst bonfire raids ever

Re-mounting a telescope from the observatory to use the Sun’s rays to melt the shoes of people’s shoes to the structure

One word: “trebuchet”

Taking a dump inside the outhouse

Sending a cheap van full of marshmallow creme, wine coolers, and Hertz careening into the structure

Covering the structure in calculus, causing the freshmen to react violently and force them to burn it down prematurely

In your best professor voice, tell them they all have pop quizzes in gullibility tomorrow

Two words: “trebuchet” and “mayonnaise”

Having someone yell “Free food!” on one side of the field while another screams “free t-shirts” on the other, forcing the freshmen to run in both directions simultaneously and rip themselves in half

Paint the all the wood with camouflage patterns so that the freshmen can’t see it and start building a new one

Trick the defenders by offering to play a game of Jenga with them to pass the time… a very large game of Jenga