Fiery sleep

Driving home is fantastic! I get so see all my loved ones I left behind to study at this wonderful institution of learning. To maximize time with all these people, I forgo that pesky “sleep” thing. As a result, the return trip gets to be pretty zany.

At one point I was driving behind a tadpole about ten times the size of my car. It was just sliding backwards down the interstate. My suspicion was aroused when I realized that tadpoles don’t slide, especially not backwards. Then I realized that they usually swim in water and aren’t found on the interstate. The nail in the coffin was that is was ten times the size of my car. So a quick blink of the eye and shake of the head revealed it to be the compact car I was following.

Since I was tired, I decided to stop. I perused the soda in the back of this gas station. I always do this, but it seems to be a lost cause. Vault doesn’t even keep me awake, and it not only is pumped with caffeine, but tastes terrible. But I grabbed a soda anyways.

But brilliance hit me: I should get some Fiery Habanero Doritos! Normally I buy them out of my own incompetance. I say, “Ooo… I like spicy foods, especially when they are made with habanero peppers!” So I buy them and take a bit only to be painfully reminded that those chips really burn. Uncomfortably burn. Most people are smart enough to avoid things that hurt them.

Then, as I started to hallucinate from sleep loss again, I munched on a chip. I made that “ahhhhh” sound you make when your mouth is burning and cringed as I tried to wash it out with soda. Then I thought about those people who eat spicy stuff and it doesn’t bother them.

What is with those people? “Yeah, I drank some of that hot sauce once. It was really bland.” All I can be is puzzled, because I’ve just told them how I accidently spilled some on my couch and it burned a hole through the cushion. Those people drive me nuts, because they act like there’s something wrong with everyone else because they think it’s hot. Well, you spicy food people, you are the weird ones! Go suck on a blow torch!

I think this anger is what got me home, more than the chip itself. And anytime my mind would wsnder to man-eating tadpoles, I would just eat a chip and get angry at those people. It worked well enough; I didn’t fall asleep until I was in Rose’s parking lot.