Wacky prof quotes

“The question we want to ask is...the television is still here?”

-Prof. Graves, confused



“Stay away from anybody in the mall with a clipboard.”

-Prof. Bagert, on human experimentation



“It doesn’t take a hell of a lot of intellect to measure your penis.”

-Prof. Brophy, insulting genitometer technicians



“I can make Brussels sprouts that would make you cry!”

-Prof. Minster, on his culinary prowess



“Then the task force provides a recommendation.. tune in next week for Technical Report!”

-Prof. House, being dramatic



“So be happy, dammit…or else!”

-Prof. Carvill, on late-in-the-quarter blues



“I bet you’d have more fun if we were using weed.”

-Prof. Anderson, on random words