Mario Brothers: No longer just a pipe dream

Our food section writer is non-existent, so I have volunteered to take his place. I have recently heard of a new restaurant run by the Mario Brothers. Apparently, the food is Mexican, but I was getting tired of spaghetti and pizza anyway. So, I grabbed a handful of coins, my spiffy red overalls and jumped on the road.

The trip there is awful; taking me multiple tries to even get through the first highway. For some strange reason, the department of beatification saw fit to plant petunias in enormous green pipes along, and occasionally on, the road. There are also serious road kill problems; the 1-1 highway is lined with flattened turtles and fungi. The 2-1 highway is just as bad, parts of the road would occasionally just collapse. Obviously, they weren’t made for today’s Americans. So, if you want to get there in time for dinner, I suggest you get a few hours’ early start.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I was pleasantly surprised by the fusion gothic/adobe décor. It is a really great environment for dining, except for constant kidnapping notices over the intercom. Their spices are really top-niche. I saw one gentleman partake of a rather intriguing multicolored vegetable dish and literally spit fire out of his mouth. The house special, served on a plate shaped like a golden star, is really great. After eating, I felt like I could complete all three systems finals at once, during a skydive, into the mouth of a volcano, while negotiating peace between Rose and Purdue, and easily survive. Sadly, I never got to my second course, as the power suddenly cut out and everyone had to leave the restaurant. If they would only fix the transformer overheating problems, I would rate this place 5 out of 5. However, its location and power requirements forces me to give it a 4.