The above review is total crap

The review you just read above this one is probably the worst thing to happen to critical writing since Roger Ebert. I will not give even just one “thumb up” to the journalistic nightmare that you just endured. I will now demonstrate to you how a real review should be written via the cutting critique contained below.

To begin, the author reveals her bias immediately by favoring only certain kinds of punctuation. While periods, commas, em dashes, and exclamation points are well and good in small doses, the complete avoidance of other types of punctuation clearly reveal the author’s inner prejudices. Where are the semicolons? The ellipsis? The interrobangs‽

Furthermore, the author’s prodigious use of the equals sign is not only confusing and misleading, it is also haughty and autochthonous. How can a reader be expected to pay attention when they are constantly being reminded that things are equal? What if they mistakenly read the symbol and are reminded that things are parallel? What if they are reminded of both? I ask you, what then? Hmmm?

I must also address the issue of the need for eye protection addressed in the article. Let me assure you now that the way the author deals with this is an Al Gore-like attempt at popularity through over-inflating an unlikely doomsday scenario. I personally have engaged in a wide variety of activities - chemistry labs, racquetball, bomb defusing, headbutting geese - without eye protection and have yet to have suffered any consequence except a dramatic increase in my overall awesomeness.

On the plus side, the professors mentioned in the above review are my close personal friends and do give it a respectable, scientific feel. But other than that? Not one redeeming attribute.