Your mom’s a Naked Girl Riding Fish in the Quad.

Your mom’s a flour-pile-on-sidewalk dumper.

Your mom’s a real biology class.

Your mom’s a road pirate.

Your mom’s a little line of litigious lard.

Your mom’s a Punnet square.

Your mom’s Joshua Hertz.

Your mom’s a shiny metal robot with two arms.

Your mom’s an ultimate full-contact euchre team.

Your mom’s a freaky gardener who likes to bake “custard pies” on weekends when the pastor comes over for dinner.