The top four news stories of the week

This week was a bad week for large-scale news. Some things burst onto the scene really late. Others were somewhat important, but not too much. Yet others probably are better suited for the “Flipside.”

Due to the complete shortage of interesting news, I am proud to bring to you, the faithful readership, my take on what I consider the top four news stories of the week. Some will be funny, some will be direly serious. Others, well, we won’t address why they happened... Enjoy.



Hugo Chavez calls Bush a donkey

In an ABC News interview, Barbara Walters interviews Hugo Chavez, and he shares his views on the U.S. and the President.

Walters asks Chavez about his famous name-calling of President Bush “the devil” at the United Nations last year. Chavez also stated “Another time, I said that he was a donkey just because I think that he is very ignorant.”

For as much as Chavez talks about America, he could learn the symbols for each of the major national parties, and perhaps call President Bush something other than the symbol for the party that opposes him.

Not only that, but he thinks the CIA has a plot with dissident groups in Venezuela to assassinate him, and tells Walters “If I get killed, the president of the United States should be held responsible.”

Interesting, that he thinks that our President should be held accountable for what happens to other nations’ leaders...



House Dems deliver on Iraq withdrawal

On March 15 the House Appropriations Committee voted 36-28 to approve the budget proposal for Iraq and Afghanistan that has a timeline for withdrawing troops from Iraq.

In this budget proposal, House Democrats were able to insert a timetable that calls for troops to leave Iraq by September 2008 and perhaps even sooner if certain benchmarks are not reached.

A splintered Democratic party has been having trouble trying to find support for this bill, because many Representatives cannot agree on how soon the U.S. should withdraw from Iraq. As was written earlier in the year, pulling out of Iraq is a foolish idea and puts the entire region on the edge of a massive war between Saudi Arabia and Iran. Hopefully things improve...



Senate Dems dealt defeat

On the same day as the previous story, Senate Democrats were delivered a key anti-war loss by the Republican minority.

The Senate Democrats fought for weeks to push this measure through but were 12 votes short of the necessary 60 votes to pass. The measure called for troop withdrawal to begin within 120 days, and set a March 31, 2008 completion date for the redeployment of the troops.

After being dealt this defeat, the Democrats brought their true intentions to light and stated that they would try to force the President to bend to their will next week, when the Senate begins work on legislation that provides money for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

After a mere two whole months of being in office, the high-sounding “bipartisanship” rhetoric has faded once again to the background of partisanship. At least the Senators can stop pretending to be nice now...



Terrorist bananas

Yes, the bananas are out for us, but the apples are not (yet).

Chiquita Brands International has agreed to pay a $25 million fine for hiring a terrorist group to protect a volatile farming area of Colombia.

Federal prosecutors handling the case said the company paid about $1.7 million between 1997 and 2004 to the United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia. This organization has been responsible for some of the worst massacres in Colombia and was designated as a terrorist organization in September 2001 by the US Government.

Oddly enough, Chiquita figured that paying only a right-wing terrorist organization was not right, and also made payments to the leftist Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia.

Hopefully the stiff $25 million fine is enough to stave off any future terrorist thoughts by other produce companies...