Wacky Prof Quotes

“I met her on Tequila Tuesday, liked her so much, I went back for Vodka Wednesday.”

-Prof. Bremmer, on his wife



“They deserve to die.”

-Prof. Mueller, on folks who smoke while pumping gas



“Don’t wear that bikini on Friday.”

-Prof. Merkle, on male presentation attire



“1+1, we know for sure, is zero.”

-Prof. Radu, on mathematical postulates



“I think Kansas is the worst state in the Union.”

-Prof. Byun, not a fan of “The Wizard of Oz”



“Marriage is a series of compromises, and in my marriage, I always compromise.”

-Prof. Bremmer, on matrimonial bliss



“I can’t imagine Lady Macbeth fornicating well.”

-Prof. Minster, speculating on Shakespearian sex

“If you want to drink, go to that side of the room. If you want to brawl, come to this side of the room. One or the other--not both.”

-Prof. Martland, on drunken brawling in class



“Who was the first person to use this robot? The dead guy!”

-Prof. Mutchler, on a gruesome LEGO accident, maybe



“Let’s talk about enlargement-not the kind in the email solicitations.”

-Prof. Casey, on a geekier kind of spam



“Can’t see through me? I should’ve worn a different color shirt.”

-Prof. Goldman, who is thankfully not an optics prof



“I am not a vampire.”

-Prof. Radu, just in case we were worried