One last hurrah

This is the last issue of the Thorn in which I will be serving as opinions editor. Next quarter, I will begin my tour of duty as the editor-in-chief, and will no longer write for the opinions page. Therefore, as my last editorial and last real chance to vent, I’ve decided to try and get everything off my chest that has been burning away inside me for the past couple years. So without further ado, let’s start the purge:

I hate the Indianapolis Star. Or should I say, the Indianapolis “Colts” Star. Nothing says “Podunk” like making a sports team your lead story at least once a week.

Do you remember all those people who kept saying “Bush is dumb” and “I’m smarter than Bush” back during the 2000 presidential election? They don’t really say that anymore. Is he no longer stupid? Has he gotten smarter while being President? Or are they just dumber?

If so many people hate a politician for being racist or corrupt or ineffective or whatever, why do they keep getting reelected?

Some people like countries like France and Germany because they opposed the Iraq War, are more focused on social programs, and support environmental protection. I’d rather be employed.

I think people who oppose oil drilling in Alaska, military action in the Middle East, and nuclear power shouldn’t be able to buy gas for their cars or electricity for their homes.

How come classes with good professors use good textbooks and classes with bad professors use bad textbooks? Shouldn’t we at least have one thing going for us in a class?

People who blame illegal immigrants for their unemployment are either unskilled or lazy. If they put as much effort into finding and holding a job as they did filling out their membership application for the Minutemen, they probably wouldn’t have this problem.

If you compare the death tolls of September 11th and the “War on Terror,” does one really justify the other?

No, I really don’t care what the uncertainty in that measurement is.

In fifty years, I can’t help but think that future students will look back on the current struggle for legalizing gay marriage like we look back on the civil rights movement of the 1960s.

Everyone keeps saying that if we are so worried about Iran, then why aren’t we worried about North Korea? I’ll tell you why: it’s because their military spending is currently 25% of the gross domestic product. That’s not 25% of the government’s revenues, that’s 25% of every dollar made in the whole country. The last time a country tried that, it was the Cold War, and the Soviet Union didn’t need invading for the regime to collapse.

Is China communist? Yes. Does China abuse civil rights? Yes. Do we like shopping at Wal-Mart? Yes.

Crazy people should not be allowed to fly into space. Do you hear that, NASA?

If we are willing to spend so much money on building a wall with cameras and sensors along the Mexico border which won’t work perfectly anyway, why don’t we just spend all that money on making Mexico better so people want to stay there in the first place?

Even if all those people are wrong and global warming isn’t really happening, will it really hurt that much to cut down on pollution?

One day, I hope that they will declassify exactly what Jack Midgley did to tick everyone off so much.

If so many Senators hate the Iraq War so much, why don’t they grow a backbone and do something about it? Cut funding or shut up and sit down.

If you disagree with something written on this page, write a letter to the editor. Don’t tell me in person. There is a proper channel for your opinion on the newspaper, and spewing your knee-jerk reaction all over my face during class is not it. The person who wrote the article you don’t like spent time thinking about it and articulating their argument on paper. At the very least, you can do the same.

On the other hand, if you like something about the paper, please don’t hesitate to tell me. I’m usually so wrapped up in dealing with the people I mentioned before that most of the time I’m thoroughly convinced I can’t do anything right.

Well, I guess that’s all I’ve got… for now. Thanks to all the loyal readers I’ve had out there for the past two years. Farewell!