Top ten “Top ten” resolutions

Stop making little jokes about Civils and CS’s…but not Purdue.

Make more big jokes about Civils and CS’s…and Purdue.

Turn in the Top Ten only 14 hours after it’s due so my editor doesn’t spam me with more e-mails than Rose, Facebook, and my fan mail combined. [It was just one e-mail, you insubordinate twerp! Now get back to work! -Ed. ]

Don’t scare freshmen about classes beginning with ES.

Continue the legacy of the man, the (kinda think he is a) myth, the (sorta making him into a) legend, Hertz.

Write a Top Ten on DDR while still maintaining a shred of dignity.

Find a way to bring back the “She thinks my calculator’s sexy” line without being repetitive.

Make one Top Ten without any references to video games, or electronics in general, foreign comics (including Japanamation and Kazakhstanimation), or any unnecessarily scientific items such as quasinuclear electromagnetic fusion, Loop Quantum Gravity Theorem or Mountain Dew.

Do a Top Ten in a completely different language, like Hieroglyphics. Or Klingon. Or Wookie.

Continue proving my theorem that my number of dates per year is inversely proportional to the number of times I mention girls in the Top Tens.