Top ten titles for video games ever

“Pac-Man.” It’s quick, it’s simple, and we have no freaking idea what a “pac” is.

“Extreme Sports with the Berenstein Bears.” It’s like two eighteen-wheelers full of titles got in a head-on collision, and this was the only twisted, abominable survivor.

“Doom.” The name really says it all.

“Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy.” Unremarkable until you realize that since it’s basically a stand-alone expansion to the second game in a series that started with a sequel, it should be called “Star Wars Dark Forces III: Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast: Jedi Academy.”

“King’s Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Yonder!” Receives points for the exclamation point, a bad pun, and the fact that it makes no darn sense.

“LEGO Star Wars.” Another truck wreck title, except this one’s awesome.

“ToeJam & Earl.” Sounds like an indie film about a manic-depressive trucker. Also gets points for internal capitalization.

“Pick Up the Phone Booth and Die.” I know; text adventures aren’t really video games. Regardless, the title describes the game perfectly. Spoiler warning: There’s a phone booth, and if you pick it up (the phone booth, that is), you die.

“Deadly Rooms of Death.” See, the thing about these rooms is that they are not just rooms of death. These rooms of death are not just capable of causing you grievous injury. They are actually deadly.

“Baron Von Puttyngton versus The Cancerous M.C. Escher Maze... OF CHEESE.” Good luck finding a download link on the Internet (the website seems to have vanished), but this is actually the name of the game.