Top ten reasons you’re not Bond

Your fake British accent is terrible.

Bond has his own theme music.

His drinks: shaken, not stirred. Your pencils: mechanical, not wood.

Bond talks to girls. On more than a monthly basis. Other than his mother.

Bond can afford to crash 300,000 dollar cars every week. All you can afford to crash is your computer.

A laptop would probably hurt if you threw it at someone, but the PP-7 is still a much better weapon of choice.

Bond knows “I wish I was a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves” is not a good pick-up line.

Your car doesn’t have fully automatic machine guns, a cloaking device, and a self destruct button… but your calculator might.

Bond always has a new Bond girl. You? Not so much.

“Engineer. Mechanical Engineer.” It just doesn’t have the same ring, does it?.