But who helps the philanthropist?

We all love philanthropy. If you do not agree with that statement, stop reading this newspaper, you heartless bastard! Many are the times we are greeted with their cheerful holiday request to donate to their various good and noble causes. But who looks after all these kind and caring individuals when they break a leg carrying socks stuffed with change, or starve by spending thirty-six consecutive hours helping people donate blood? No one!

Well, I will not stand for this absurd and unjust situation. If we do not help those who help others, who will be left to help the ones that the ones who help others are no longer able to help? So I call upon the good hearted students of this campus who are not currently engaged in helping the less fortunate to help those who are currently helping the less fortunate.

If you see someone counting change, offer to sort the pennies. If they are collecting warm clothing, offer to patch up the holes. If you see someone leaving out boxes to collect cans, structurally reinforce those boxes so they won’t collapse under the overwhelming generosity our campus displays. Just help out however you can. It doesn’t have to be big. Heck, it doesn’t even have to be noticeable! Just do… something for the caretakers of the poor and despondent. We’ll all feel better if something is done.