O nerd run, where art thou?

I’ve had it. I’m on edge. Look at my hand. It’s been like that for the last three hours. I’m up to my neck in homework and projects, I haven’t had a wink of sleep in days, and I’m so dependent on caffeine that I’m beer-bonging a mixture of Jolt, black coffee, and ground-up Ritalin just to achieve five precious minutes of focus. But what’s really bugging me, what’s grinding on my mind the worst of all, the thing that, if remedied, would make me feel happy again, is that I haven’t seen the nerd run in weeks.

It’s enough to drive a man insane. I honestly don’t think I’ve seen that hilarious combination of running and trying to appear like you’re running since second week. The arms locked to the sides, the chin down, the stiff legs, the wheelie-backpack… God, how I long to see it again!

No matter how down in the dumps I was, no matter how many tests I did poorly on or vicious locker room beatings I had received that day, a few precious seconds of watching someone nerd run would slap a huge smile on my face. It was like, no matter how poorly I did in class or how much I sucked at life, I would never suck hard enough to reduce myself to have to nerd run.

I would do anything to feel that way again.

I’ve never been this tense before. I have to see the nerd run soon or I might snap. I’m seriously considering setting everyone’s clocks behind on campus and then settling down in a lawn chair in front of Olin and watching the carnage as people rush to get to class. A few of them are bound to nerd run, and when they do, my life will be complete again.