Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's logic?" the first redneck asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weedwacker?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard, " replied the professor.

"That's real good!" says the redneck.

The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck says, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual, " said the professor.

"You're absolutely right!  Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard!  I cain't wait to take that logic class!!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway where his friend is still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!" replies the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example.  Do ya own a weedwacker?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You's queer, ain't ya?"

Two blondes living in Texas were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "What do you think is farther, Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooooooooooooo.... can you see Florida?"