“What happened to your clothes?”

— Dr. A. Bryan, who quickly learned that some questions should not be asked.

“You missed the moon. That would be bad.”

— Dr. Holder, teaching Supervilliany 102: Lasering your name onto the moon.

“Realize I’m undermining myself in the first 3 minutes of class. Only I’m not.”

— Dr. Martland, by day. The UNDERMINER by night. (Coming to a theater near you!)

“If you’re one of the freaks that likes Geotech Engineering; sorry if I offended anyone who’s decided on it already...”

— Dr. Sutterer, showing us that if you must discriminate against a major, discriminate against the imaginary major.

“I’m not going to explain it to you because it’s a long story.”

— Dr. Granieri, before starting a long lecture, also unexplained.

“It’s like the life of the city, sorta like the stink of Terre Haute.”

— Dr. Martland. Aroma-analyst.

“Think about urine. Not for too long! But think about urine.”

— Dr. Morris, who spends a moderate amount of time thinking about a moderate amount of urine.

“I always like to pick on the architect.”

— Dr. McKinney, who disregards Dr. Sutterer’s advice.

“We just smack it, then measure something.”

— Dr. Stienstra, oscillation analyst.