Dear Ladies’ Man,

I’m interested in a guy in one of my classes. We talk all the time, and he sits right next to me. I keep dropping a million hints for him to ask me out to the movies, but he never seems to get the message. What should I do?

Rose Girl

Dear Rose Girl,

While I’m sure this is a common problem at Rose (cough not really cough) I’d be happy to give you some advice. I’d like to mention that if he is indeed male and ignoring your advances, he most likely is gay, has a girlfriend, or is a CS. While there is nothing wrong with any of these, I would advise looking elsewhere for your movie-going pleasure. In case he is NOT in fact any of the above, then he is merely accidentally filtering out honest female interest (“Rose Goddess Syndrome” is a common cause of this “over-filtering” symptom).

Many Rose students become disillusioned with the prospects for earnest female interaction after suffering at the hands of numerous others who were aware of the power they wielded at a school full of nerdy guys. Common symptoms of “Rose Goddess Syndrome” include, but are not limited to: asking for unreasonable amounts of help from guys, while offering little in return— you can always find another guy to do your bidding; an un-warranted sense of self-confidence; and finally, appearing unapproachable to average men who do not pay you homage.

If you exhibit any of these traits, the guy you’re interested in has probably just tuned your advances out. However, it is possible to regain his attention if you just keep at it. He will eventually come ‘round. The best option at this point is persistence. Until he says no. At which point we can definitively say he is one of the aforementioned gentlemen and is not interested. But, as they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea…