“This is not breakfast food.”

— a student in Prof. Massman’s class, holding a half-eaten Ding Dong. Sometimes it’s hard to watch them grow up.

“Do you know how busy I am? I have reading and writing for your class, PLUS all of my Rose classes...”

— a student in one of Prof. Minster’s Rose classes.

“Is a botanist someone who likes to play bocce ball?”

— a student in Prof. Bowden’s class. Don’t ask what he thinks a sextuplet is.

“I didn’t come to Rose to be challenged!”

— a student in Prof. Berry’s class, prompting diabolic laughter.

“There are going to be a lot of rich alumni coming. It is not polite to not finish the beer they shove down our throats.”

— a student in Prof. Mohan’s class, on the horrors of Homecoming.

“Wow! That’s both the most fascinating and most boring thing I’ve ever seen.”

— a student in Prof. Clifton’s class, breathless with indifference.

“Well, if it helps, I think it should be a very small deduction.”

— a student in Prof. VanSchoiack’s class, generously offering grading advice on his own exam.

“You don’t need a personal life.”

— the same student in Prof. VanSchoiack’s class, always on the lookout for more very small deductions.

“If you’ll believe me, it’s in my other pants.”

— another student in Prof. VanSchoiack’s class, faced with his own very small deduction.