10. Write a list of the top ten ways to stay awake during a seminar.

9. Learn something important in your field of study. (Just kidding.)

8. Use your laptop to email/IM/Facebook/play solitaire/hack federal databases.

7. Wish you had brought your laptop so you could email/IM/Facebook/play solitaire/hack federal databases.

6. Imagine what (the speaker/somebody in the room/everybody in the room/yourself/someone else entirely) would look like naked.

5. Write the great American novel/love song/technical report/network protocol. (Bonus points if you put it in a text message.)

4. Finish the homework/reading/lecture notes due next hour.

3. Translate the abstract of the talk into Japanese/Klingon/Pig Latin/Symbolic Logic.

2. Draw a picture of your dream car/robot/significant other/chemical reaction.

1. Wake up! You’re giving the seminar!