Point point clap clap

Unless you have been demonstrating the reason why we live in a representative democracy as opposed to a direct democracy, you know from whom we have to choose from at this point. Regardless of your awareness, we had to wait for an ambulance chaser (Senator John Edwards), a guy who paid for his campaign by eliminating jobs and thought the reason why you might celebrate a pagan festival in a week walked around Ohio (Governor Mitt Romney), an executive transvestite who only talked to some snow birds (Mayor Rudy Giuliani), an actor whose popularity peaked before he had to tell those pesky Federal Election Commissioner (FEC) folks about his monies (Senator Fred Thompson), an elf with huge pockets full of trinkets (Representative Dennis Kucinich), a let’s go t-wood guy bass player who majored in superstition (Governor Mike Huckabee), a hyphenated person who returned to K Radio Land a couple days before it would matter (Governor Bill Richardson), an extremely courageous man who follows some important pieces of paper that I have read countless articles about (Representative Ron Paul), and four people that weren’t even around long enough for me to ridicule (uhm who cares?).

Is the person who thinks that getting the endorsement of the worst president since President Hoover and the continuation of the idea that the “Big Bad Durka Durka Jihad Boogie Man” can only be stopped by invading the land of said “Boogie Man” really think he will get elected? The same man who, apparently, has many friends, who argued with a man about that man’s own quotation for over four minutes on national television, the man who looks tired and worn out before trying to attempt arguably the most stressful job on this planet, the man who has caused many (albeit idiotic) members of his own party to support the other candidate, and the man who likes to think that free markets include trade sanctions. I could continue, but it doesn’t really matter since McCain isn’t going to win; Bob Dole had a better chance to become president in 1996.

What do you think about the couple that is running for president right now? The basis for that question (albeit rhetorical in nature) is that CNN will often say the Clintons did this or that, you rarely hear the Obamas or the McCains doing something in the same fashion. Do you think that would be just swell to ignore the Twenty-second Amendment, and basically let “Old Willie” give it another go? For the person who wants everybody to forget her maiden name after her thirty-fourth year of service to this country, she doesn’t seem to have an original thought in that extremely well maintained head of hers. (As a side note, if she gets the presidency, do you think she will go gray like all the majority of the other presidents have while in office?) Although I must painfully admit that I don’t think she is lying about the years of service to the country, she made a failed attempt at national health care in 1994, got subpoenaed with her role in the Whitewater scandal, became a representative of a state to which she was only a resident of in order to become its representative, helped Wal-Mart become the massive entity that it is, and “wrote” (most likely written by ghostwriter Barbara Feinman) a book that suggested putting television screens in public places to instruct parents how to raise their children (George Orwell would be oh so proud). (As another side note, it would be hi-la-ri-ous if Hillary tries to compare her service to the GOP nominee, don’t you think?) If you currently support Hillary, watch the “Shame on You Barack Obama” video on YouTube. Is that what we want in our president? Somebody who has a shrill spiteful timbre who almost sounds a little like a vegetarian painter born in Austria who died on his honeymoon?

All right, now it is time for me to attack Obama right? Talk about how he isn’t experienced, make some absurd claim that he is Muslim, describe that his speeches lack any substance, attack his middle name (even though he hasn’t used his name as a political tool), or claim he must be related to Dumbo with those ears of his. I don’t think that anybody will argue that he is by far the best speaker of the three, and his speeches are chock full of inspiration. That being said, one thing I don’t understand is why we insist that the president describes his policy changes in great detail, when that person doesn’t actually write any of legislation? He or she can only influence the Congress to write legislation, and you would think that three senators would understand that. Our country has a chance to have a special kind of president, one who actually inspires the majority of the country into fixing the problems in which it is facing. We haven’t really had that since a tragic day in November. I hope that we don’t screw it up on the second Tuesday of that month this year.