Encyclopedia Rosannica: Jeopardy Edtion

“I stand for hope and change. I also stand for rainbow-colored puppies that cough up sunshine.”

Language is hard, but as we are intelligent people, we already know this and have chosen to become engineers instead of learning proper English. Still, I can’t help feeling that there is a certain gap in communication between the various disciplines. Just last week I overheard a civil engineer asking about the yield point stress of a salt bridge. People who have studied chemistry, feel free to laugh. People who are currently overthinking the question and attempting to catalogue a list of salts capable of serving as salt bridges according to their material properties as crystallized solids should immediately go talk to a girl, and upon failing that, throw down a couple of shots and try again. Anyway, here’s what happened when I asked a few people Jeopardy questions about these common terms:

Rose, n.

biology major — What I’m genetically engineering for my project?
biomedical engineer — What will power my cyborg armies of do...ing peaceful activities?
chemical engineer — What I don’t smell like?
civil engineer — What can be made out of concrete?
computer scientist — What wilts when I walk by?
economist — What I have to sell on the streets to make a living?
electrical engineer — What does current not flow through?
mathematics major— What is a symbolic representation of an unbounded emotion?
mechanical engineer — What can be expressed as a system used to convert dirt into perfume?
physics major — Who should give me a giant laser to study?

Rockets, n.

biology major — What are bad for the environment?
biomedical engineer — What I can make from beetles and ceramic?
chemical engineer — What happens when you mix chemicals in test tubes?
civil engineer — What can not be made out of concrete and thus can not exist?
computer scientist — What ability does a Goblin Tinkerer have in patch 1.21b?
economist — What I better get in the next hand or I’m going to be broke?
electrical engineer — What can be used to interrupt a circuit?
mathematics major— What I wanted to fly before I had to get glasses?
mechanical engineer — What can be expressed as a system used to convert stuff into explosions?
physics major — What Rose should give me a giant laser to blow up?

Irrelevant, adj.

biology major — What are non-squishy things?
biomedical engineer — What are budgets?
chemical engineer — What is the solubility of a weak acid in a low pH solution?
civil engineer — What best describes what I do?
computer scientist — What type of comments are in my code?
economist — What is investment sensibility because the government will bail me out?
electrical engineer — What Edison thought of Tesla?
mathematics major— What? Nothing is irrelevant, only tangential.
mechanical engineer — What are the things that can not be modeled as a system?
physics major — What describes almost everything I may discover?