Relationships

Inter- faith relationships are those between persons from different religious traditions. Intra-faith relationships are between two persons from different denominations within the same religion. They come in many varieties. Some individuals have very little involvement with their faith, whereas to others, religion forms the core of their life. Some individuals see merit in faiths other than their own; at the other extreme, some may view other faiths as forms of evil. Depending on the beliefs of individuals, religious-based problems may or may not arise within the relationship.

There are seven common techniques for resolving religious differences.

• Withdrawal- Both individuals withdraw from organized religious activity. This has the advantage of minimizing friction over differences in religious tradition. But this may not be sustainable. Membership and activity within a faith group may be such an integral part of one or both spouses' spirituality that they cannot suppress it for long.
• Conversion- One individual converts to the religion of the other. This has the advantage of avoiding friction due to religious differences, but only if the conversion is sincere and accepted without pressure. Otherwise, the convert may feel unfairly treated or have resentment for being pressured into converting.
• Compromise- Both individuals convert to a compromise religion. This could be a denomination "half-way between” their original religions. Some of the disadvantages associated with the conversion option may also apply here. In particular, both of the families of origin may be angered at the decision.
• Multi-faith-Both individuals affiliate with both denominations. Each would support the other in their religious activity.
• Ecumenical-The two individuals merge their religions. They examine each other's religious traditions and, in essence, combine the two faith groups.
• Diversity- If the individuals have a high level of commitment to their faith, any form of compromise may be intolerable. Each may choose to follow their past religious heritage, separately. This is considered the least desirable approach by many couples, because it reduces the amount of time that they spend together and diminishes the level of companionship.
• Do nothing- In many cases, organized religion plays a minimal role in the lives of one or both individuals. They might feel that their commitment to religion is so low that they would not want to spend the time and energy needed to resolve their religious differences.

Family Pressure

Often, parents or other family members will try to prevent a person from converting. In some cultures/religions, a person may even get “kicked out” of the family for doing so. It is important to be aware that there are both societal and familial consequences of exhibiting certain beliefs. However, there may also be self-esteem and other personal consequences of hiding one’s beliefs.

Recognizing Religious Discrimination

Legally

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of l964 prohibits employers from discriminating against individuals because of their religion in hiring, firing, and other terms and conditions of employment. The Act also requires employers to reasonably accommodate the religious practices of an employee or prospective employee, unless to do so would create an undue hardship upon the employer (see also 29 CFR l605). Flexible scheduling, voluntary substitutions or swaps, job reassignments and lateral transfers are examples of accommodating an employee's religious beliefs.

Employers cannot schedule examinations or other selection activities in conflict with a current or prospective employee's religious needs, inquire about an applicant's future availability at certain times, maintain a restrictive dress code, or refuse to allow observance of a Sabbath or religious holiday, unless the employer can prove that not doing so would cause an undue hardship.

Religious harassment is also included. Some religious groups attempt, through pressure, to lure an individual to a religious belief which she or he does not already practice.

Freedom of speech and freedom of religion are important values in American culture, but those values need to be balanced by the person's right to say no. Most religious groups readily respect a person's right to say no. If a religious group refuses to take your no seriously, either by persistent phone calling or invitations to meetings and conversations, you are not being respected. This is harassment.