this site is dedicated to the delusions of grandeur inside the warped psyche of a hollow shell of a human being
originally entitled Trimalchio in East Egg
Me
and Jimmy had quite the trip back to the Haute. We tried to go through
Wasconsin, but we would have been driving through a blizzard the entire
time. That and our car spun out just over the boarder. We were going
less than the speed limit, but the tires lost traction. We spent a few
seconds swerving and almost hitting the car in front of us. Then we
began to spin. we did a 360 going 65 on 94. Me and Jimmy locked it up.
We did not come into contact with any of the other cars. We finished
out spin, after we face oncoming headlights we straightened out, and
pulled over into the dip down in the middle of the interstate. We were
a bit shaken. But we were pros, and it didn't shake us up too much. We
turned around, and went through Iowa, down 35. We got in rather late.
But all is well that ends well, and at the time it was very fun. This
quarter will be a breeze, I am a pro, despite whatever Mr. O'Connor
says. I would again like to go into one of the several stories I have
built up, but all in good time, for it is late, and for the first time
in weeks in need wake up before 10am.
No,
the last entry was not supposed to have any text, it was the original
title of "Annie Hall". I can't write much because I need to wake up at
a decent time to leave with Jimi. I finally got my bike back, I took it
for a spin, I tried to take it around lake Harriet, but I found that I
needed to get back for a thing I had to do, so I tried to match my old
pace and go down 49th and the parkway, but I failed, with Greek
tragedy, and got dirt all over my nice pants. But I did get a hair cut,
very short, at least for my standards. I just feel I look like I am six
years old when I have short hair, and since I already look like I am
twelve I need all the help I can get. I did get a chance to see Stephen
and Nick thankfully. Strangely, with the exception of my coastal
friends it is hardest for me to see my friends in Minneapolis. But at
the eleventh hour we went to see "Ultra Violet", we ended up seeing
"Dave Chappelle's Block Party". I watched him on inside the actor's
studio, I have more respect for him as a person and a comedian. I see
his move to go to South Africa for a while as a very moral decision.
The movie was great. There was a story about a problem with me getting
home from the
mall, one about me and Woody Allen, one about the two act play I
recently wrote, and one about getting a haircut, but I have had it for
the
day. Damn it, I forgot to get a Big Mike's sub, I will get one, come
hell or some problem, as one always seems to cause trouble with me.
I
still need a haircut. I noticed that my last entry had the date of
February 29th, a date that is fictitious 3/4 of the time, which is a
very strange idea, but it would worry me more if the earth orbited for
exact periods. But other than that. I am feeling mixed emotions about
heading back to Rose. I realize now that this coming summer will be my
last time of freedom that I may have for many years. Not that I am
fearing the end of my freedom, or that I see inevitable financial
independence as freedom. I have a connection at Guidant, not for my
next summer, but for the summer after that. I will have to stick to
manual labouring for this coming summer, and work with the common man
for a while. It will be difficult to get a job, having no previous
experience, and not being in the city until the summer.Superiority statement. I know Minneapolis is superior to Terre Haute, that is a given. I need certain things out of a city that I live in. I go by the philosophy that you should go to college in a place you hate, so you will want to leave. I need the city, I don't need New York, but I need an urban area. There are no urban areas in Indiana. I don't care what you say about the size of the population of Indianapolis, it is not a full city, it is just the center of a sea of suburbia. I need uptown, I need the lakes, I need the parkway. I need to get on my bike and go down the parkway. Well I don't need it, but it is nice.
You are lucky, I was about to go into a thing on Huey Long, and although Huey Long represents an era and an way of politics that this country will never experience again, I will not bother you now. I kind of want to talk about comedy. Comedy is the art of pointing out cotradiction. Comedians point out these contradictions. I have long held the theory that comedians as a group are the smartest element of society. Part of this is me thinking I am far more funny than I really am, and the other part is grounded in the idea that telling a joke requires a full understanding of what you are talking about. To point out something as ironic requires you to know the psychology of the situation. Comedy is the most mysterious of things because it seems to have no clear reason for existance other than as a byproduct of intelligence. Laughter is just an emotion that many animals have that don't comprehend humor, so it must have just grown out of that. But I am growing tired of writing this, so in summation, comedy is for smart people, anybody can memorize facts, it takes insight to tell a joke.
I
am going back to wanting to be in a blizzard. There seems to not be
much snow on the ground and it feels like the area is due for one. The
storm last time was okay, but I want a storm that causes a delay in the
eastern flight grid. I don't have much to say today. But I do have
something very important, my top five bands:1) Creedence Clearwater Revival 2) Led Zeppelin 3) Bob Dylan 4) the Rolling Stones 5) the Postal Service
my favorite song from them are:
1) "lodi" 2) "achilles last stand" 3) "like a rolling stone" 4) "gimme shelter" 5) "against all odds"
I did
not do much of anything today. I have found that my sleeplessness or my
subconscious has given me amnesia about the boring six hours spent on a
bus. I guess there would not be much to remember about miles and miles
of darkness. I had my favorite meal. I had LeeAnn Chin: lemon chicken
with white rice and a side order of cream cheese puffs. I have ordered
the exact same thing there since I was in...sixth grade or about then.
It was just so good. It must be a very good meal or else I would have
moved on. Thinking back on the countless times I have had the exact
same meal it is strange to think that it is the most stable food choice
in my life. I have gone through many food phases, it has been years
since I have eaten any dill pickle chips. I guess some things die over
time while some become reinforced. It makes me question what I judge
food on, and if lemon chicken is the benchmark of food that I use. I
doubt that there is some part of me that uses lemon chicken. Then there
is always Arby's. I have been order essentially the same meal at Arby's
since I ran cross-country in 10th grade. Arby's was always: number five
combo with curly fries and a side order of potato cakes. It also is
interesting that these orders are similar. I guess I just like chicken
better. One major food trend of mine is away from pork, and beef to a
certain extend towards chicken and turkey. I find they are healthier.
Health is becoming a greater concern in my diet lately. I eat a salad
every time it is offered and I stay away from fired food. I still eat
plenty of it, I have just generally shifted away. I also don't drink
pop much anymore, if at all. I have had the policy for years of only
drinking pop if it is given to me. I have yet to get pop in at the Rose
cafeteria and only have it at restaurants when there is not other
practical alternatives. I have also caught myself calling pop soda. I
guess it is just Minnesota nice, allowing others to feel more normal. I
think that taking bus lines has destroyed my ability to talk to other
people in normal situations, well, to be nice, and make small talk. I
think it has mored used up my ability to chit chat. Either that or my
own smug sense of self-satisfaction and superiority has overcome my old
ways. I still need to get a haircut.If you were bored to tears by the last paragraph, just know that is more than what I did on Monday. I liked not doing anything. I did give my sister a twenty minute crash course in physics. I went over: force, energy, torque, conservation principles, atom theory, electromagnetism, wave-particle duality, doplar effect, red shifts, and the relation between the four fundamental forces. I think she was a bit lost. I did this to prep her for the physics books I gave her to read. Self-education is necessary for a complete education, you can't force an education, you have to learn to want to learn, not only for technical matters, but also for general knowledge. I could go into introspection, but that is a matter for yourself to work out.
I
had a great time in Grinnell. I would apply there in a second if it
weren't such a feel-goodery that gets its students ready for the real
world of grocery bagging and welcoming to walmart. I like the people
there. I am cool with most everybody there. Of course it was great
seeing Jeff and Lydia. Two people who I will not probably see again
until the summer time. It was a very exciting time. I could go over the
specific events of that I experience over the course of a few days. I
could even tell the story of why I am writing this at just past
midnight and I have yet to leave Des Moines. I think the best way to
start is to go over the end, which at the time of this writing has not
happened yet. I did not get a chance to spell check this or read it
over, so have fun.Jeff called me just before my bus to Des Moines left. I told him everything was alright. That was a lie, but I didn't want to bother him when he has an economics test the next day. In a way I was telling the truth, I have never had a very successful trip, and so this is normal to me. I keep getting the feeling that this is all an episode of Seinfeld. But really I just bring this on myself. I guess in a way I have fun at what i am doing, well other than the what will be two full days of my life spent transporting myself on greyhound buses. An experience that I believe all people should have at some point in their life. I have though of calling my mother to tell her that she should go to sleep knowing that I am not going to sleep until well after she wakes up, but I have given her enough grief as it is.
Something happened that made me smile a few nights ago. As we were walking someone said I looked like the main character, Michael, on Arrested Development. This made me happy only because I have lived my life unable to find a person that I looked like, a very disturbing thought. But it was a nice freebie that it was Michael, as I will someday have no choice, but to keep them all together. That is going a little overboard. But that is just one of the many details I want to share because it about how cool I am.
Certain people have told me I run on spite. I like to think of it more as a deluded sense of justice. But I didn't buy a complete ticket from the start (instead of a ticket to Des Moines and a ticket to Minneapolis) because the dude at the Marshalltown ticket office was late, that and it talked to me with an attitude in his voice. But it ended up costing another twenty bucks. I should have learned my lesson through this experience, or have learned it preemptively through the several Arrested Development episodes about teaching lessons. But I guess I am doomed like Michael to repeat the same mistakes. I have not slept in a while.
If Grinnell offered a good technical education I would go there. But as it stands now they are mostly about sharing feelings and talking about how to better communicated and understand each other. I honestly like the college and the people, but I never went to a class there. But alas, this bastion of liberalism is lost in a sea of philosophy and English majors. Although I respect the vow of poverty, I will stay in my ivory tower and poke fun at people going to liberal arts schools. I am glad I did IB, if only to give me a year of liberal arts classes.
I want to save up to buy a GPS thingy. Yes I called it a thingy. I don't always use the correct term for stuff, another general word. But it would be useful to know where I am, me being the most important thing in the world. I also want to know how fast the bus is speeding. All bus lines speed. They must in order to get from point A to point B in a decent amount of time. Police let them get by with this all the time. I know I am speeding right now. On the way from Madison to Minneapolis the bus was going at least 85 mph. I used the mile markers and a watch. By the mean value theorem alone it means that they must speed at one point. Yes, I used a technical term, most of you reading this know what it is, many of you were in the same room as me too.
People should not be ashamed they know things. I find far too many people feel that they need to hide their intelligence. I find this country has a problem with people thinking that education is stupid and that they don't need to learn. One of the dudes who worked at the gas station in Marshalltown asked the other employees what 50 + 20 was. That is basic math. I can comprehend many different concepts of realities - I am even close to four space dimensions - but how could a person not know that is is 70. I think the notion of education being stupid goes hand in hand with the politics of the common man. I am sure I have said this before. But it is worth saying at least twice. I do not want the common man in power. I want great men. I use men in the genderless sense. I want men greater than myself. No, I am not trying to be arrogant, but then again there are my standardized test scores.
At the end of school last year the diploma recipients received their standardized test scores. My scores showed a clear peak of academic ability in 6th grade. When I think of that I think of book Flowers for Algernon. I also think of the the day Mr. O'Connor called me unprofessional. That was a bad day. He struck a nerve that day. If I was anything in that class it was professional.
I feel that I should teach you something. A lesson of some sort, or at least a moral. I think of this as an episode in a TV show. I can't come up with anything. So the lesson must be that you should learn your own lessons in life, or at least be prepared. In summation, Iowa was great, not the six hours spent in a bus depot, or the six hours I have ahead of me looking at the dark night. Oh, gosh darn, I wish I would have just written a news from lake woebegonesque article, because tonight, on this plain plain of Iowa, it would be all but too fitting.
Alas, I have been struck a mortal blow, within.
I
am sorry that this entry is going to be short. But I just want the
reader to have a daily entry here. My goto graphic is on the right. If
I don't want to spend the time to go out and get a new image I just
pick one from a list of pre-approved images. This image is from Arrested Development,
it is Gob on his scooter as his character the Banana Grabber
(copyright), and Gob should never have given away animation rights. If
you don't watch Arrested
Development,
then you will think what I just said is incoherent. There may also be
typos, as I have no time to reread this, I should be packing my stuff
up now. But to actually go over yesterday. I did nothing, I played disc
golf, shot a six under, and then did nothing. When Jason got here I
showed him around Terre Haute, went to First Wok. But all should be
right with the world, and now I have to go, for it is the final
countdown...(another AR
reference)
I am
in the going to Iowa in a few days. Iowa to me epitomizes the
agricultural heartland of America. The entire state is built on a
loosely followed square mile grid. Most of the Midwest is built on a
grid of roads every mile, I could in fact walk home on this grid if I
had to. I noticed this grid while doing some mapping on google earth. I
think it would take me about two weeks to walk back, mostly
because there are no diagonals and I can't walk very fast. But for a
brief history of me and Iowa: my grandfather came from Rudd, Iowa.
Rudd, Iowa is named after a man with the last name Rudd. He offered the
town $1000 dollars to name the town after him in a time when that was a
large sum of money. He never paid them, but the articles of
incorporation had already been filled, and the town would have been
forced to pay a large sum of money to change it to something else, so
the town's name stayed. My great grandfather moved there from Indiana
or something. But this is boring. So I will go onto the less boring
events of my life other than family history that is at best a hazy
recollection.I did that math final thing today. I did well on it. Next topic. I missed playing disc golf today, they couldn't wait an extra ten minutes for me. But I forgive them, even though they took my discs. But now past my bitterness. Today was a good day, well yesterday technically, Wednesday was a good day, well the twenty one hours not spent taking a math test was good. It is nice being done, at least on one level. It is nice to just sit around and watch movies as the hall slowly empties out, counting down to the brief exodus I will have on Friday.
I don't have too much to say. I wish I had some life lesson to talk about. Some bold theory on life or at least a tip on how best to grow tomatoes. But strangely I don't have much to say. Just that no level of introspection can change your nature, you can change your attitudes, but your true self will supersede any conscious change. The unconscious mind will overcome. I believe that there is much more that you can tell about a person by the small things they do, grand gestures can be thought out, and can therefore be deceiving, but the small things are what define a person's character. Again, I am grasping at straws, I just feel that I should have something more to say, but it is late, and my laundry is done, and that has been the excuse of far too many great people. Not to say I am great. What I am doing now is having a somewhat humorous conversation so that the reader will ignore my poor writing today. And it can all be extended into an extended metaphor. Talk amongst yourselves, I am getting a little verklempt, I'll give you a topic...
I
listen to the song slow
ride by
Foghat after every major test that I have taken since my first IB test
almost two years ago. I don't know how it started, but I do it with
such regularity that it has come to represent an overall psychological
release of mental pressure. I don't like any other songs by Foghat,
Foreigner is better.Four. A Four hours of tests. It did not phase me too much: I have an IB diploma, my face has a map of the world on it. It was a marathon. I had no watch, the clock in the room had been removed, and the professor would write what time is was on the board every half hour or so in military time, and I could not see the 1 from the glare. I did not check my email - I was studying too much - and thus didn't find out that my package had arrived. I did not get a chance to call home, I feel I strange sense of academic pride that makes me want to do well on these tests. Part of it is because I know that I should know the material. I don't have much else to do. I am awaiting Friday, when I leave. I have noticed there is not as much tension leading up to this break as opposed to before winter break. There is more pressure on the finals, but less interpersonal tension, we were all going nuts before last break, I almost snapped a few times at the airport. The physics test did phase me at first only because the only problem on the entire test that I didn't have a decent understanding of was the very first part of the first question. I went through what seemed like my entire mp3 player, all 300 songs, well not actually, but I noticed at the end that Led Zeppelin did not come up once, just strange, seeing that it represents. But that is just about the most trivial thing I could have brought up. I have realized that my life is like one big episode of Seinfeld, a lot of nothing leading up to one punchline. But I guess that is what life is like, I really don't have anything to say here, I just am grasping at straws for that last few sentences, trying to make a good transition into my next subject, as I am trying to shy away from just jumping from one subject to another.
I played disc golf today, Tuesday, I am going to stop reminding that the date at the top is the date of release. Yes, I have a math final the next day. But I needed to relax. It was rather warm, and it helps me clear my mind. I also worked out tonight with Doug for a brief time, just to make sure that I keep it up somewhat. I try to exercise everyday, and the physics final had me cautious about doing anything last night (Monday night). The freshmen fifteen is the 15 pounds that freshmen usually gain when going to college. I have gained 15 pounds since coming to Rose. This is mainly from muscle mass, at least that is what I delude myself into thinking. But I don't think I am getting fat. I am still below average weight. More importantly I am above average height for the first time in my life, well for a few months now, but it is strange for me, I was well under five feet going into high school. But that is a road of pain I don't want to walk down, well that is a little melodramatic, but I think if anything it strengthened me as a person, or left me psychologically crippled, either way I am in the 51st percentile for height. It kind of sucks right now, most people are done with their finals and I am just half way through mine. Well actually my calculus III final tomorrow is half as long as my physics final. Physics was a tour de force. But this lead me into my next topic.
On Monday afternoon, without really thinking about it at the time, I wrote my last English paper that I will ever have to write. It is kind of the end of an era. Just as I became extremely adequate at writing papers it all just ends, much like the rushed ending of my paper. Just interesting that this is a cul de sac, not that I ever liked English, a class that constantly changed its name, or it changed its name three times. It did take some time to go from reading, to english, to Rhetoric and Composition. That and going from teacher to professor. That big step for me was when somebody, not me, inevitably asked for permission to use the bathroom, and the professor gets a smile, and says that we don't need permission, we are no longer prisoners. I am not going to get into the school systems being prisons that prevent expression, they do what they need, they should be, and need to be better. Education is the most important task of government, and is really the only reason we have civilization. I respect teachers for taking usually low-paid and demanding jobs. Education started getting defunded decades ago, and the effects are not felt until later. I don't know if it is system of a deeper problem with the country, but raw capitalism can not sustain us indefinitely. America needs to stop being pound to not be well educated, people in general should not be embarrassed to be educated, it is a good thing. I hate it like I hate politicians who brag about being plainspoken, and like the average man, leaders need to be great and well prepared. I hate using hate.
Not
to brag, although it is, I got a perfect score on my last physics test.
On the eve of the physics final on Tuesday this is a great comfort.
That is not to say I was that worried about it before, I got a perfect
score on the test before this one. But the final counts for enough of
my grade that I have to be somewhat concerned. I have always had a
strong conceptual understanding of physics. It might be my schooling,
or the few dozen books I have read on physics. Now that I am done
inflating my ego, I will go on to talk about a very related subject
that I am sure not to wonder from, European vs. American attitudes.I can't claim to have a lot of experience with American culture, but I have noticed it to be difference from European culture. I could go into the pursuit of freedom or class structure, but I want to concentrate on how different generations treat each other. Now I am going to base most of this off of some Swedish dude who I am related to who stayed at my house for a few days a year or two ago: the perfect representation of how all Europeans act. He found me to be troublesome because he felt I was on equal footing as him in conversations. I wanted to tell him that his side of the family was too poor to come over and that there was a reason that my side left about a century ago. But he represents my closest relation to Europe. It is strange to think of myself as a colonizer, but really in the grand scheme of things I really am. But back to my main point. Europeans think that children should be seen not heard. This angers me specifically, mainly on my father's side, for I am the oldest of the cousins on that side and was always frustrated by having to be seated with the younger members of the family that I felt superior to. But back to the Europe thing. They have a different sense of what children should do. I never felt that I was relegated to second-class status when I talked with adults. So in summation of this point that has yet to be fully described: Europeans have a very firmly rooted class structure that makes them an evil society. Now I remember why I wanted to talk about Europe, Austria just convicted a Englishmen of denying the holocaust.
The holocaust seems to be a theme or a motif of subjects in my life that keep on coming up. TOK is mostly responsible for that. Then Curb Your Enthusiasm had a nice bit with it. But I can understand Austria, Germany, and those other former Nazi countries banning all Nazi stuff. But I think that there is a line that should be drawn. This to me all goes back to freedom of speech, yeah it sucks that other can say what they want, but it is a price I gladly play. I could be told every day for the rest of my life that fossils are just something the Jews buried in 1924, but I will not believe it. I think that one of the many reasons that religious people think that the world is only a few thousand years old is that when the world is only a few thousand years old their place in the grand scheme of things seems more important. That may also be why they always think that the world is just about to end, to give themselves more importance. But they also have been thinking that the end of days is coming for two millenia, it is just a built in scare tactic to keep their followers in line.
I
am going to take my finals in the next few days. Today, Sunday, I
watched the entire second season of Curb Your Enthusiasm
and read a book by Richard Feynman called the character of physical law.
I don't have a final until Tuesday. I have yet to finish that paper,
but I will lock it up. I will try to keep it short in order to allocate
myself some time for this paper, a paper that only needs a proper
introduction and conclusion. But is that not the problem with most
tasks: knowing what exactly to do and knowing what to do once done. I
always write those parts last. I guess I like Curb
because I can relate to the main character so much. If I didn't have
school or a job, I think that would be my life, just a little
less...important, which ironically would fit the character better. I
used to think that on Seinfeld I related to Jerry, but it is George, or
Kramer, no, George. People like him, or us, must have a purpose for
society, otherwise there is very little reason for them/us to not be
locked away in some institution. But on another note. The company my
father worked for is the company that makes the administrative Internet
site my school uses, it is a different division, but still, it all
comes full circle. No it does not all come full circle, everything is
not interconnected and with a meaning to it. I don't like deleting
things after I type them on this if I don't want to simply reword it. I
think of this more as a one-sided conversation than a historical
recording. So as I talk to the empty void of the Internet, I think of
the the way that modern Christmas lights stay light even when a few
lights go out. Each bulb is actually two resistors (one being the bulb
itself) wired in parallel, so that if the bulb goes out the resistor
allows the current to flow through, since the bulbs are wired in a
series. Of course the resistors are more resistant than the bulb, so
only a few can go out like this. I just like bringing things out of my
vault of knowledge from time to time. That way people who stumble
across this get something out of it. I just recognized the voice of
buffalo bill in Silence
of the Lambs is that of the police captain on Monk.
Just an interesting thing, his name is Ted Levine. But since I like to
end with some sort of moral lesson. I believe that there will never be
peace in the world, I would like there to be, but the statistical
chance of it is very low. Although I believe that its limit can
approach zero, I also studied for math today, sorry.
Aaron
Burr shot Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton had run against for the New York
Governorship Burr out of spite, so that it would split the vote, and
nobody would win. That is on a somewhat unrelated topic, today began
the 121 hours of silence that goes on for finals week. It is not a
total silence, but just a time when nobody plays their music, at least
not very loud. I tried to play disc golf with Roomeye and Jimi. We
played about five holes, it was well below freezing. I ate Taco Bell, I
am not a big fan, nor is my stomach, but it was an experience. It is a
shame that a great man like Jefferson had a vice-president like Burr.
This will serve to launch me into another thing on politics.I do not hate all conservatives. I respect the old idea of conservative: limited governmental influence in society. I respect Nixon twice as much as Reagan. Nixon was smart, for all the evil that is thought of him at the time, which has perpetuated until today, he was one of the better presidents of the last century. Nixon is responsible for: increased gun control, the EPA, OSHA, price, and wage control. I like him better than the republican party the replaced him. After Nixon came a party that didn't want to enforce laws, but to enforce their morals. I believe that the separation of church and State is important to the integrity of the union. I believe that the government has no place looking into my private like. It is the price we pay to be able to justifiably say we are "free". I believe actions taken against these basic principles are unpatriotic, if not treasonous. I need to clarify my previous statements about conservatives. It is not that I don't like conservatives, I just don't like the one that have the secret goal of forcing their religious beliefs on me. They are being exploited by reactionary conservatives who want a free market and a controlled population, as I said earlier, stable societies often prosper. Religious fanatics are ironically evil, the religion does not matter. At first I thought it would okay for religious fanatics, but they can't keep it to themselves, they feel they have to right the world, they know who is wrong and they are right. But I allow their existence out of the hopes that it allows for my own existence. I am sure they will be cool with it. Christian fanatics are worse than Islamic fanatics. Islamic extremists have poverty and social injustice to partially justify (it is very partially) their actions.
I do not find that religious people are crazy or under mass delusion. Well, I think they have got it wrong, if by raw statistical chance. It is something that comforts them. It sounds condescending, mainly because it is, but belief to me is like belief in the tooth fairy. It provides an answer. The bible is only right because it says it is. If we were created in the image of god, then why would he not be greedy, self-involved, and leave evidence of himself. I didn't put down /herself because why be nice to something you deny the existence of. If I were to refer to a higher being I would use her. I will admit that males are the mutation. I have a strong background in biology, well at least genetics and evolution, it would be hypocritical of me to try and argue otherwise. That does not mean by any means that I think that men are less great than women. This will send me down a path that has been troublesome for me before. Males and females are differently abled, this I believe to be undeniable, we have different amounts of some key hormones: there has to be a difference on some level. I believe the debate is on how much, and in what ways. I believe that it is a minor difference that today is mostly overly emphasized by social differences. I think that the head of the MIT biology department (female) was wrong when she berated the president of Harvard (male) last year for saying there was such a difference. She should know as a biologist that there are different genes in play and thus there must be an affect. It is blasphemous for a scientist to say that a complicated and unproven scientific idea has no merit based off of what is now only personal opinion. Her doing so does not bode well for her gender. Back to my main point. religion is something some other people need, and I wish I could believe in it.
Television it turns out is good for children to watch. I am a byproduct of television, and I am better for it. Turns out the studies on children watching TV has been wrong all these years. Recent research has proven that old television studies were like the old studies on drinking wine: it dealt more with social class than actual use. Rich kids tend to watch less television and score better on tests. The data from the recent studies found that watching television back when it first came into being was beneficial, children with sets in those watched around four hours a day. Now days television is much more educational, more complex if anything. Burr shot a guy.
I was going to use
the final countdown itself, but I don't want to infringe on any
copyrights. Class is over. My deadlines were extended because of the
blackout. So I have yet to do the final version of my paper. I had a
good day. But there is not much to report. I will see how things go
down for break, most of my plans involve not having a plan. I don't
want to work at a good blog, so here are some quotes:"If Fascism comes to America it would be on a program of Americanism." -Huey Long
"What country before ever existed a century & half without a rebellion? & what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon & pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. It is its natural manure." - Thomas Jefferson
It
was over 60 degrees today, but then there was the huge storm that is
making the news. Terre Haute has a minor role in this story. For it was
here, less than a mile from where I now sit, just down the road, that a
church had its roof blown off onto I-70. I was in the SRC (Sports and
Recreation Center) when the lights went out. I was sitting on a
stationary bike on the edge of the indoor track when the those giant
gymnasium lights started to go off. It was strange, at first just the
middle lights went out, but then all the lights went out about five
minutes later. Me, Roomeye (nick), and Doug were all stuck down in the
SRC. The rain was hard against the metal roof of the SRC as we gathered
in the dark of the west entry room. The rain came down hard, very hard,
I don't know they had rain in February, but I guess anything is
possible. As we took our shortcut through the union we heard the
generators kick on. We tried to run through the rain to the grille worx
for our usual dinner after SRC, but the power was out. We sat on some
couches in the empty lobby of Hulman Union. Lauer came by, gave us
grief. Keith, always a pro, opened the food up, I had chicken strips
and old fries. So we sat there, under the emergency lights, ate our
food, and for a while, everything was simpler. I need to start a new
paragraph so you can understand going back to my room, because some
people at Rose need
power.I was just listening to CNN, waiting for CNN international, when a news report on a ski manufacturer ended "...KARE 11 news." Just weirded me out to hear the Minneapolis NBC affiliate to have a report go out on CNN. Of course the next report is on a missing Whippet (dog) so don't give too much creedence to it. Terre Haute was hit hard, our airport has been taken out.
A strange thing happened when I got back, everybody was just relaxing. Speed hall has strange lighting and the outlets in each room are on four different circuits. So half of our hallway lights were on. So people were just out in the hall, talking. It forced us to leave our rooms and venture out, not me, but other people, I went to Walmart, the lights in the rest of the Haute (Terre Huate, Tear-a Hoat, the Hoat) were on. But the rest of the people had a break from our lives, some relief before finals, and everybody is calmer for having taken a step back. I really was not that bad. I got to bed early, my program documentation is not due until tomorrow. I need to take a shower, the rain failed to clean the sweat off of me.
On another topic. The Danish cartoon, what must be the focus of TOK, is making Islam look bad. They will look bad not because of the original content, but because of their reaction, which is being seen by everybody else as overly dramatic. People around the world know what cartoons are, and the Muslim world's reaction makes China nervous. Pluralism is essential to the modern world. The only ideas I am against are those using violence to destroy pluralism. One of the only reasons that I am against affirmative action is because the issue of having it causes more damage than benefits: more racism. I shouldn't say that, I don't like the fact that I am punished for the sins of my forefathers, and my forefathers didn't own slaves, they fought in the civil war for the north, from the state of Indiana. Don't try and say that it is just others are being rewarded, this is a zero-sum game: to have winners means having losers. This is not veiled racism, I just think that all people are equal, and that treating us differently cause racism. Just so I can get this out of the way: title 9 is unconstitutional. Title 9 does not treat all people equally. It gives females the rights to all sports males have access to. But it does not go both ways, males can not play female sports. Just trying to get a few issues of equality out of the way. America has far too many social problems for me to solve. Why don't Asian students get affirmative action, oooh, I mentioned a sore spot. I do not agree with the democratic platform completely, but at the same time I agree with their fundamental ideals. I am also against harsher penalties for hate crimes, you can't punish somebody for what they think, no matter how bad: murder is murder.
Freedom is an interesting thing, I can't wait for China to go into a revolution. I know the Chinese government can feel it coming. They are accumulating too much wealth to have people not eventually become greedy, and demand freedom. I don't know why the world is trying to be the United States, we are not that good.
I
have
a great story about
morality. Tonight, me and Roomeye were down at the subway getting
dinner. We are sitting in the chairs, waiting, and the people ahead of
us are standing up, there is less than five feet between us. So this
dude comes in. This guy looks like he hasn't seen daylight for a few
weeks. He thinks that
all the people behind the standing people are just sitting in chairs in
a line for fun. He goes right in front of me. This is not 'nam, there
are rules. But, there are still a few minutes before we are up to
order. So I talk with Roomeye about the Dane Cook comedy bit about
cutting in line. The main rule is that you never look back at
your victim, so I looked forward, and I saw his head pivot past the 90
degree mark, I thought he would stop, but he kept on going, he looked
right at me, then looked at the television behind me. It was on, he
doesn't know who he is dealing with. So he
started to read the newspaper facing a table to the left. I go ahead of
him in line, I sneak around the outside. He turns around, and I can see
in the reflection of the sneeze guard his reaction to this event. Well
I am rather content at this point. Then the unthinkable happens,
something that if I were given a large amount of time to think about I
would not have come up with. He is a regular at subway. The dude taking
bread
orders knew what he was getting, and got him ready when he was still
ahead of me. This is when the Marquess of Queensberry rules of
boxing and Robert's rules of order go out the window. I still have the
spot in line ahead of him. So I pull a maneuver that conservatively
could be considered inspired. His sub is being toasted while my sub is
being made, I tell the next dude behind the counter that I want my sub
toasted. When he pulls the other guy's sub out I cough to distract his
attention. Then I casually tell him "that's not my sub" and I bob my
head to the left at the guy behind me in line. So then he holds my
opponent's sub, losing its toasted heat, until my sub is done, at which
point it is place ahead of his sub. So I
successfully established my position in the line. Then I went to the
register. I did a rotating walk away, went over to Roomeye standing in
line behind the counter, always keeping my line of sight at least 90
degrees away from
him. I then casually mentioned that ", I guess I am just going to have
to wait here for you, no rush." I am sure that sent a chill through my
opponent's heart, if he has one. That made me proud, I locked it up. I
feel very patriotic when I do something like that. Patriotic in the
sense of the principles that this country was founded on, not what
actually occur. I taught him a lesson, his crime was fruitless, and he
ended up with a cold toasted sub.I remembered that I never said what I did for St. Valentine's day, well other than going to church, I did the same thing I do everyday, try to take over the world. But in reality, I had a typical day: trying to take over the world.
No, I did not work out at the SRC tonight. I played disc golf for three hours, today was an "easy" day. I plan on hitting the weight room hard tomorrow. The disc arrived. It was causing some problem with me, nick, and ramzi. My new SL star is amazing, it really ties my bag together. It gives me another thirty feet on my drives. It took me a while, but I finally understood how to throw the disc. While playing we ran into a guy with one of those huge tour bags: The type that throws five or six discs. I was worried I would not get back in time for the competition. But he picked it up and we actually ended up playing with him. He is the guy who designed the course we were playing on, and he did a good job. He gave us pointers, helped out a bit. He tried to convince us that discraft made the best discs, but I think that he is sponsored by them or something. He said he would give a presentation to SGA (SGA, of which I just became a senator) if I could arrange it, Rose had a disc golf course, but took it down to expand. He was a bit eccentric, but most disc golfers are. We came back later, it rained a bit during the second round, but it was fun.
I think that making technical jokes is inevitable at Rose. Not because the people here are those kind of people, but because comedy comes from a person's natural environment, and being surrounded by all of the knowledge, a shared experience, makes the type of humor drift. I am basically saying that less and less are jokes about partial differentiation done jokingly. I find that comedy is one of the key indicators of intelligence. Even a basic mammalian nervous system can feel fear or joy, but to find something "funny", there is a required apprehension of the subject.
Well, today I played 36 holes of disc golf. I woke up and my computer application group had trouble getting together, and my matlab code was a bit off. By the end I was glad that I finally had the physics engine that had gravity working downward. We all had tee-shirts that we made. We won the team spirit award, he had a little thing called heart. Appearance vs. reality. We were way off on the first shot, then our second shot was good just because our two models' errors worked against each other. I should have just used the actual experimental data derive the model. I know this is boring and without contextual meaning. But just know that failure to win does not have much affect on the final grade. But now I have just some documentation to write and a paper to finish, oh, and two finals.
The
candy machine in the lobby will sometimes have the coin go through the
machine and into the tray and still have it count. It is ethical to
abuse this system? Who's fault is it if the failure is exploited? My
current viewpoint is that it is the candy company's responsibility to
maintain the machine, and is in effect just making bad transactions,
and this therefore no fault of the consumer. When exploiting this the
machine, the machine is not operated in any unusual way, or tampered
with. I guess I also having a feeling that those machines have stolen
enough money from me. So the Robin Hood factor comes into play a bit.
That story is taught to every child, and it teaches them that there is
an occasional need for vigilante justice. No child thinks of how the
misfortunate rich people are loosing their money. But it is okay to
hate rich people, it is one of the things that makes Arrested Development so
hilarious, it is because it is okay to laugh at them in situations that
you would pity a poor person in. One of the ironies in American culture
is that we all hate the rich, but all want to be them at the same time.
The American dream itself is to become wealthy through you own means,
to lift yourself up by your own bootstraps. But we can't all be rich,
and that is where I believe the conflict over federal entitlement
programs. Entitlement programs are social services: Medicare, welfare,
and social security. These thing are essential to our society, because
it allows for stability. If you look at a country over a long time
scale, and one of the best indicators I have found for "success" is the
stability. This can take the form of semi-socialist states or by
economic diversification. Either the government can control society or
society can self-regulate by having a diverse economy. It is very
difficult for the state to regulate itself, I consider it to be a freak
case that usually requires dictatorship, which I think destroys success
because there is not a quality of life. But a diverse economy can
weather fluxuations in the market in will allow its other markets to
remain stable, and thus flow better. It just helps to have thing not in
constant change. Look at crop mono-cultures: countries with one cash
crop. They are highly unstable. Look at South America and the Middle
East. These countries have instability that causes massive economic
chaos. That chaos means that sometimes people don't have money coming
in, and that usually leads into an uprising. Here we think of uprising
as something that happened in 18th century agriculture, not modern day.
But people have to survive, and when their means of survival is cut of
people tend to get angry. So make sure your economy is diverse, even a
heavily profitable country will face troubles when the amount of profit
changes. Change is bad, new things cause trouble, and always live in
the past: that is my advice for today.
The
image to the left is one of the official mascots of the 2008 Beijing
Olympic games. Click on the image, it links to the
official website. I just find that the Olympics were founded
on
mostly peaceful grounds, and it does not send a great signal to the
world to have specifically made a shooting panda. I guess the idea of
having gun shooting contests is a stupid idea to begin with. I will let
this send me into a one sided debate on gun control...The Constitution of the United States of America has approximately 4,500 words, only 27 words are in the second amendment. It was a great thing that the founding fathers did, they decided to leave ambiguity in such an important text. I guess they thought it was not that important. When this was written it was to ensure that the people of this land would have the ability to fight off the many enemies of the new nation. But this was also in a time when guns took a minute to load, and a wound would rarely kill a person, although an infection might. I don't think the founding fathers intended to have machine guns and pistols on the streets, destroying the inner-cities. It is good that they decided that a slave was three fifths of a person, but to leave other issues to fall on future interpretation. Not to mention the amendment does not just simply give the right to bear arms. The wording comes with two all too often forgotten clauses: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. You need to have a militia and to be in crisis, not some dude who "needs" it to protect himself. I will admit one thing. I don't like people who like guns. I don't like the people. They are the very people who I disagree with on just about every modern political issue. People who say they are a Republican like Abraham Lincoln. No, they are not. He was a liberal, as is just about every great president, just look at Mt. Rushmore, well not Jefferson, but he was for small government in a different way then conservatives mean it today. He was for civil liberties, a small government in that sense. Small government today has come to mean that everyone is on their own, but big brother will still make sure you don't do anything else others feel you shouldn't. I really believe that it is unpatriotic to encroach on civil liberties. I don't know where his inalienable rights went. He said something brilliant, I just have to put it down,
"Because religious
belief, or non-belief, is such an important part of
every person's life, freedom of religion affects every individual.
State churches that use government power to support themselves and
force their views on persons of other faiths undermine all our civil
rights. Moreover, state support of the church tends to make the clergy
unresponsive to the people and leads to corruption within religion.
Erecting the 'wall of separation between church and state,' therefore,
is absolutely essential in a free society." -Thomas Jefferson
now back to me talking about people I don't like. I don't like the
south. They lost the civil war, and never got over it. If you want to
know why democrats are not in charge despite them riding the wave of
the post WWII cultural revolutions, it is because of the Civil Rights
Act of 1964. Lyndon Johnson after signing the act said that ", we
[democrats] have lost the South for a generation." He underestimated.
When I hear political commentators talking about why African-Americans
vote for the democratic ticket around 90% of the time, and I often find
myself thinking of who I would vote for, slave masters or my
emancipators. That is a bit over done, but the point is still valid.
Kanye West was correct when he said "George Bush doesn't care about
Black people." Back to the original topic of gun control. Basically I
think of conservatives as backwards racist Neanderthals, a constant
reminder of why modern society is usually better than the past. One
reason to be liberal is because the liberal view from half a century
ago is now moderate, and that seems to be true throughout history. So
now that I have touched on almost every issue except gun control. You
don't need a gun unless you are in law enforcement. Statistically you
are more likely to get shot yourself or have your kid find it, well at
least natural selection will take place, and against people who don't
believe in it.My day was very low key. I went to all my classes. I went to the SRC and did an intense hour on a stationary bike while everybody was at chapter, reason 458 I didn't join a frat. Chunder came by, he is subtly trying to get my to go back, maeby some other time, but I don't think there is any chance of me being a spring pledge. It pains me when I realize how much I like so many of those guys. But I have my reasons. The one thing I have is a will power to do almost anything, some call it being stubborn, but I call it having a strong character. I don't have class tomorrow until noon:30, So I can be up this late. Tomorrow will be a hard day, I have a test, a group project to finish, a lab write-up to finish, a bit of other work, and I plan of hitting the weight room hard tomorrow. But I think that I will feel good after tomorrow, everything but studying and finishing up my paper on putting in a disc golf course in Minneapolis, which is going to be put in, so I guess it is a moot point, but then again two plus two is still four, but is good that I learned it. I feel I need a bit of wisdom to leave you with, just know that if you can read this you are lucky to be born into a privilege world.
Le monde. They use
the same crazy dating style as me: using the next days date for the
date on the paper. Although technically I write the day I write it as
the date, but mentally it is something different, I still think of this
as Sunday. I like reading Le Monde, I enjoy the sound of french, even
though I only understand every fifth world.39° 28 ' 55.52" N 87° 19' 36.56" W 545 ft. Just wanted you to know where I am at in the world. A meter is one ten-millionth the distance from the equator to the north pole, not actually, but as close as it was able to be determined back in the 18th century. It was determined during the French revolution. I realized why the French are, and seem to have always been hated by Americans. It is not because of their attitude or belief, in fact we have a lot in common. We both like to be defiant to the world, which makes us clash some times. But really it is because the American revolution was just that, a revolution, we as a country we were British. We did not shed our shakles, we just had Paul Revere make some new ones, revere is an old French word meaning to respect.
Things are starting to go down. A better way to put that is my plan for break is coming together. I am going to see Jason Thursday (23rd) night, I am going to leave Friday (24th) morning with Jimmy, see Jeff and maeby (allusion) Lydia in Grinnell, Greyhound home, and then be at peace for a while.
Freedom of speech is under fire around the world. Between the outrageous outrage from the Muslim world over cartoons to China forcing search engines to filter results for anti-state sites, freedom of speech is under fire. I do not blame google, Yahoo, and MSN for complying with China. It is in their best interests to be present in the worlds largest potential consumer market. It is profitable and legal. I feel let down by google - I am not mad, just diappointed - they seemed to be the good guys, one of the few examples of good business. I felt that they would not stand for this. I believe this is also the greatest age of enlightenment the world has ever known. The electronic media that people of my generation take for granted had changed the way information and ideas are communicated. Don't be sad that books, newspapers, and libraries have one foot in the grave, for as each generation of life improves on the past, the creation of Church and Turing are replacing those of Gutenberg. But Gutenberg should be thankful that his invention of moveable type improved society so greatly, in ways that the people of the world could not have imagined in the 1450's. A truely great invention is indistinguishable from magic, too bad they used to burn witches. I believe that too many people are concerned with ensuring the history of themselves lives on rather than the effects of themselves living on. Statistically your are an evolutionary dead end: in ten thousand years your genes will not have any decendants left. But a person's ideas can be woven into the fabric of human knowledge. I guess I am one of the people I loath, for I seem to be writting this to perpetuate myself. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I
went disc golfing Saturday. It seemed like a nice day, and
me,
Nick, and Ramzi had nothing better to do. It snowed. Not regular snow,
it was like dippin' dots. I realize that it is just hail that did not
fully form. But it made things tricky. We had to cut our plans short,
due to the weather, but we still played 11 holes. I can't wait for my
new driver, and not having to lend out my discs, not that it is really
a big problem, but it will just go smoother once everyone has their
discs. I also find it a fun challenge to play with the discs I have. I
need to bring a few discs back that I left at home. Saturday, and
Sunday morning, I have spent watching television. I watched the last
four episodes of arrested development again, Resident Evil, Resident
Evil 2, Doom, Fight Club, and a failed attempt to watch Tommy Boy. I am
looking forward to break. I like my pace now, but I need an escape. It
will be awesome. I only have to do a paper for english, some math
review, physics review, and finish my computer applications project. I
only have two finals this quarter. It will be interesting to see what
will be. I think I could pull of some decent grades this quarter. I
will not be taking my economics class. I have heard that there is going
to be a lot of new stuff coming at me next quarter, so I have decided
to take a slow ride. I have to remember to listen to slow ride. I listen to slow ride, by Foghat, after ever major test I take. It just calms me down, and the song becomes a psychological trigger for stress relief. I don't know if that works.
My advice for the day is to: seek shelter when faced with a storm and to seek to provide shelter when others are. I always feel a disconnect when I travel between my Minnesota world and my Indiana world, it is like jet lag of the soul, and I don't know what time zone I am in.
For
several years now I have considered hypocrisy to be the worst of
behaviours. Now I must look into the mirror. For many years my favorite
television show was Newsradio,
but like Martin Luther at the church doors, I must look at the man
inside me and understand my true beliefs. When lists are compiled of
the greatest films of all times the top stop is always held by Citizen Kane.
This film is good, but not great, there have been many greater films
produced since then. It always annoyed me that out of honor or fear
they kept the film on the list. I must not follow the fate of those
lost souls. I renounce Newsradio
as my favorite television series, for as of tonight, the hastily ended Arrested Development has
become first among equals: king of comedy, long live the king. On a
slightly related note, The last episode of Arrested Development
ended a few minutes ago. Ever have your mind blown, well watch out,
here comes Tom (Tom the visionary). Those episodes were insane. The
last one was amazing. It was all a...I think it is like the film Se7en, it is too brilliant for the average person to comprehend. Of course, me being greater than the average man, I was able to completely understand all of the subtle and metaphorical meaning. I played disc golf today, just me and Ramzi, it was just for fun, unlike usual, and I did well, I tried using the wrong disc for each situation. The order was put through, it is a little bit excessive spending $15 on a driver, but it is fancy, shiny, and it will really complete my bag. Now that I think about it, a champion viking 175g, would be amazing, it is the only unexplored branch, well I have been there, but I liked being in that place. I can see how Arrested Development could get back into being a series of Showtime picks it up. There is so much that makes sense after seeing tonight's episodes. It is like the parable of the cave, I am in the light now, or maebe it is an elaborate life lesson being taught to me.
ARCHIVE . . .(december 2005)
ARCHIVE . . .(January 2006)
612.418.3424 cell 812.872.6510 dorm 612.823.4504 home vanbarnes@gmail.com Ben Frevert CM 1058; Rose-Human; 5500 Wabash Avenue; Terre Haute, IN 47803 |
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